I’m really starting to think I am…

In the past 5 years, I’ve gotten rid of bunch of “friends.”  Some of them genuinely hurt me, but, I’ll admit, that there a few that I just didn’t feel like putting in the effort with them anymore.  Even recently, I find myself feeling rather indifferent when people do things that get on my nerves.  Hell, just the other day, I felt myself ready to write yet another person off.  I stopped myself before I said, or didn’t say, something that I might regret in the future.

 I swear it seems like everytime I talk to or run into someone I haven’t spoken to or seen in more than 2 months, I have yet ANOTHER situation that starts of “yeah, you know I don’t talk to <insert name here> anymore…”  I always get the same reaction “DAMN! What happened?” followed by a nervous chuckle.  I think that  people are thinking to themselves, her she goes again — cutting someone else off.  For real, I know it looks like I’m the one at fault and there HAS to be something wrong with me because I can’t keep a friend to save my life.

I find that I blame myself because the only constant is me…I think I’m better at keeping friends if I can get over the 5 year trial period.  My closest friends are people I’ve known forever — 23 years, 14 years, 10 years, 8 years, 7 years, and 6 years.

I’m feeling bad because it’s like I don’t care anymore…almost as if you aren’t sh!t until after year 5.  Now this isn’t the way it is across the board, there have been a few execptions to the rule.  But it really seems to be a growing trend for me…

For the people in my life who haven’t haven’t made it to year 5 yet, I really hope that I don’t do anything to you to ruin your chances of making it to the 5th anniversary…