the soundtrack of my life…

Archive for December 2007

Mrs. Palmer’s chocolate chip cookies – they are something that I look forward to every time I go home to DC

My little cousin Nichelle – she’s my sunshine

My boy Decatur – even after losing track of each other for a little over 5 years, he STILL gets me like no one else

My Adidas flip flops – during my matriculation in college, you couldn’t find me in any other pair of shoes

Rock Creek Cherry soda – ain’t nuthin’ like some cheap soda! LOL

Old school music (either hip hop or soul/r&b) – even if the party is super wack, a little old school music (a la Maze featuring Frankie Beverly, big Luther, B.B.D) will make the party worth while

My girl KRF – though I haven’t known her long, she knows me better than most, even when I hate to admit that she’s right

My girl Cris – my personal security, my sister, my ride or die chick

My girl Erika Kane – sure, we don’t talk to each other all the time, but I know she wishes nothing but the best for me…she kept me calm during the trying times in Wright Hall and I will never forget her for that

UTZ potato chips, Jerry’s Subs and Pizza, carry-outs, go-go music – you gotta be from DC to get it

My gray sweats – the ultimate comfort for me

West Side Story, The Sound of Music, The Five Heartbeats they remind me of summers in VA with my cousins

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Peace and blessings to you and yours during this holiday season! 

I swear that’s the million dollar question. Recently I was asked that question by one of my close friends and for once in my life I didn’t have an answer for it. I know what you’re thinking, what was your answer before and why isn’t it the answer now? Right? Well, anytime I’ve ever been asked that question previously, I always gave the P.C. answer or what I thought the interviewer wanted to hear. My answer used to be: I’m currently thinking about grad school, but I’m just not sure whether I want to get an MBA in Marketing or an MA in Advertising. Last week, a conversation with Decatur left me lost and confused:

Decatur: So what do you want to do? Like in life, what are your plans for the future?

Me: You know that’s a really good question. I don’t know; I’ve just kinda been going with the flow of life.

Decatur: Umm…that’s not a good thing.

Maybe I should give you some background. You see, I’ve always lived my life worried thinking about what other people want me to do. From choosing a major in college to the clothes I wear to who I associate with to what job I work. I’ve always been the “good girl.” In my family, I’ve always been the one to stay out of trouble. To do what pleases everyone. I went to private school from Pre-K to 8th grade, then went on to a college preparatory high school. I went straight to an HBCU, and graduated in 4.5 years. And now I’m working for in a corporate job and have been for the last 3 years. It’s been expected. I’ve never been arrested, never done drugs, don’t have any kids and truly don’t have any vices. Sure I have a couple of tattoos, but that’s about the most “rebellious” thing I’ve ever done.

To be honest, I never in a million years thought that I would’ve ever been in a corporate job. I’ve always felt as if I was WAY too creative for it. So what have I been doing here for the last 3 years, you may ask? I HAVE NO IDEA! It was cool having a “real” job at first and I have learned a lot. However, it’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m just going through the motions – and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. When you start going through the motions, you become complacent and find no reason to strive for anything different. I go to work, bullsh!t for 8 hours (give or take) and then go home. No real effort is put in between the hours of 7am and 3pm. And that’s cool, but it’s getting old.

So where do I go from here? Sure I have a few ideas, but no real concrete plan. It’s time for me to sit down and brainstorm. What do I enjoy doing? Hmm…let’s see. Being creative. Cooking. Kids. Entertaining. I think that’s a good start. Now it’s time to make some decisions…stay tuned!

This ain’t nuthin’ but the truth!

As the year comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on the events of the past year and how much I’ve grown as a result.  Here are some of the things I’ve come to accept over the last year or so: 

  1. My views and outlooks on life change as I get older, but I think that deep down I’m the same person that I’ve always been.
  2. I am a giver, it’s what I do, but I can’t expect others to give as much or in the same manner that I do.
  3. Many times I put others’ happiness before my own.
  4. I’m only one person; I can’t be everywhere at once, no matter how hard I try to make everything happen.
  5. Since I don’t have siblings, I value the relationships that I have with friends and when they end or things go sour, it’s hard for me to let go.
  6. I’m not perfect and I don’t think that I am…I know I have many flaws; most that others don’t even notice or care about.
  7. I would do just about anything in the world for a few special people.
  8. I’m a work in progress.
  9. I love to get in my car and drive…I get a lot of thinking done in my car…
  10. I go through phases when I don’t like to be by myself…I’d rather be in someone else’s presence even if the other person is sleep.
  11. I love being around kids, they make me happy.
  12. Everyone has issues…mine might not be the same as yours but I’ve got things going on…
  13. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the people I love happy.
  14. I have a tendency to keep my feelings bottled up until I get overwhelmed and have a meltdown…
  15. Birthdays are a big deal to me (in case you didn’t already know)…not everyone feels the same way I do.  To some it’s just a regular day.  
  16. I remember a lot of stuff.  If something happens, whether good or bad, I can usually remember that date and all of the details surrounding the event for a long time.
  17. I’m very opinionated; however, I try to keep my opinions to myself when it comes to other people’s lives and the decisions that they make.
  18. I love being the “life of the party”, but I can’t always be “on” and need my down time.
  19. There are times when I don’t want to talk to certain people, don’t be offended if I don’t always pick up your phone call or answer your text message.
  20. I have a tainch of dyslexia and ADD…something that makes perfect sense to me may not make sense to others.
  21. I am complicated.
  22. I’m smart and have a large vocabulary…I’m not purposefully being condescending or trying to make you look dumb by “droppin’ some knowledge” or using a big word (or two.)
  23. If you’ve met my mom, you’ve met me.  As the years go on, I realize that I am just like my mom; it’s a blessing and a curse.
  24. I am a people person.
  25. I am the coolest person you will ever meet. 

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a minute now and with so much going through my head at the end of the year, I figured it’s now or never. 

I write what I see and what I think.  It may make some mad, others may appreciate my bluntness.  This is me.  You can love me or hate me, but you will remember me.


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Days of my Life

December 2007
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