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Archive for May 2008

So it’s 3:17am and I’m just getting home.

It was my homegirl Paula’s birthday and she went to Twisted Taco and then to Sutra Lounge. It had been a long time since I’d seen her, so I decided to join her and her people. I’ll admit that I was a little nervous to hang out with some of the ladies that I used to be really close with, but that’s no longer the case. Luckily, for the majority of the ladies it felt just like old times.

Here’s where the Fabulosity comes in…

I’m big on fragrances (read: I like to smell good, especially when I go out somewhere.) I had recently run out of Dolce and Gabbana’s The One and I wanted to change my signature fragrance up. Unfortunately, I couldn’t decide between Sean John’s Unforgivable Woman and Kimora Lee Simmons’ Fabulosity, so I purchased both. Tonight I decided that I’d wear Fabulosity because, I’ll admit, I was actually feeling quite fab and was in a relatively good mood. I get to Twisted Taco around 10:30 and as I was getting my ID out, the two white guys at the door started hitting on me. (This should’ve been sign #1 that this was going to be an interesting night!) One guy was admiring my glasses and the other asked what scent I was wearing. I replied “Fabulosity” and he caressed my arm as I walked by and said “that you are!” I laughed the whole way upstairs to where the ladies were sitting. The ladies has signed up to do a couple of rounds of karaoke, which is always pure comedy especially when there are drinks involved!

After everyone paid their tabs, we headed to Sutra…but not before I took a picture of the birthday girl and some of her friends that were heading home. Somehow, Mr. Caressing White Guy found a way to walk by me and caress my back.

Once we get in Sutra, the Fabulosity kicked in once again…only this time, it was a group of 3 guys from Detroit who wanted me to “show all of them a good time.” I.think.not. One dude Funky Red would NOT leave me alone! He felt it necessary to try to get me to dance and when I resisted he insisted on giving me lap dances ALL.NIGHT.LONG. Finally after about an hour, he found a white girl who was ready to twerk for him. (Viva La White Girl! LMAO) Then his boy Moneybags decided he wanted to holla at a sista and wanted me to “show him a good time” as well. But I had to decline, for many reasons, but the main one was he came up to my armpit and was a little smelly like his boy Funky Red. The final Detroit Playa was Jersey (because he had on a Pistons’ jersey.) This dude was hi-larious! He was like “I only have 2 dance moves — the two-step and the snake” LMAO We were clownin’ and then he asked me “what perfume do you have on?” Once again I said “Fabulosity” and he replied “that’s sexxy. It’s you, it fits your swagger.” Word Jersey? I love it when people recognize my natural swagger!

As the lights came on in Sutra around 2:30am, I thought I was safe from Funky Red. But alas, I was wrong. (DOH!) Funky Red found me as we were walking out and proceeded to ask for my number so he could call me on his way back to his hotel so he “could make the night memorable for me.” Thanks, but no thanks. The night is memorable enough as it is, I don’t need yo funky ass tryin’ to give me “the business” any more than you already did during the 15 lapdances you gave me!

Damn you Kimora Lee Simmons and your smell-goods! Argh!

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This video has a special place in my heart…1) the video was filmed at my alma matter 2) I met B-Rock and the Bizz and they told me I looked like some girl named Michelle from Decatur (at the time I had NO idea where Decatur was…now I do and I’m scared that I look like some chick from there LMAO):

I had a great Memorial Weekend. I flew down to Clearwater, Florida to spend some time with my bestest friend Lo’Nique (aka the other half of Lauren Squared) and my punkin Malachi.

This was my first extended visit to Florida since he was born in September 2006. (I know, I feel like such a bad godmommy for not seeing him more often…) But things happen, so now I’m trying to make up for lost time.

Can I just say that I LOVE this little boy!

I mean, how can you not love him? He’s just so cute!

It was nice to not have to think about anything of any importance for a few days. No one was calling me to ask them to do something for them. I got to catch up on some much needed rest. (Praise Him for that one!) I got a nice little tan. But most of all it was just great to be with two of my favorite people. We went to a crab boil, to a few BBQs, to the beach, and I met a lot of cool people. (Who all asked when I was coming back because they had a blast meeting me!) 🙂 I was able to really bond with Malachi for the first time, and by the time I had to leave he was running up to me randomly to give me “besos” and hugs. For some reason he was obsessed with my sneakers. He kept running around the apartment with my shoes on laughing and giggling! It was super cute (as you can see from the first photo.)

Please be advised of this PSA from Necole Bitchie:

BitchAssNess is a serious illness that is spreading rapidly through our community. It is classified as contagious and can quickly infect any persons who come in contact with it. Many people have contracted the illness and do not know they have it. We urge the community to get tested immediately as treatment will lead to longer, healthier and happier lives.

To report an outbreak, please call (404) 418-6796

I’m using the term “parents” loosely because these two did not deserve to be parents at all:

HOUSTON — Autopsy results were completed on a six-month-old baby boy found in a southwest Houston motel freezer, but the cause of the death is still pending, KPRC Local 2 reported Monday.

Crystal Sosa, 25, and Dezmond Dewayne Blake, 28, were arrested after police found the baby’s body in a zipped-up duffel bag inside the freezer in a room at the InTown Suites, 3000 state South Highway 6, on Friday.

The child, identified as Devin Blake, had been in the freezer for about a year, officials said.

The medical examiner has not yet been able to determine of the child died of natural causes, as the mother claimed.

According to a probable cause affidavit, Sosa makes her living as a prostitute. The affidavit also states that both Sosa and Blake are heavy drug users.

Sosa told police she came home and had a heated argument with Blake. During that argument, she noticed the baby was not reacting to the noise.

Sosa checked the baby, who was lying in a crib on his back with a bottle in his mouth. Sosa said he was dead.

Sosa said she wanted to call 911, but did not because she said both she and Blake were drug users, one child had already been removed from their custody, and because of her personal history with the police.

She said they wrapped the body in a blanket, put the corpse inside a gym bag, and put the bag in the freezer.

Sosa said she and Blake continued to use the freezer for ice and frozen food items, such as pizza.Blake and Sosa are charged with felony tampering with evidence. However, the charges could be upgraded.

Bail was set at $50,000 each. Sosa and Blake are due back in court on Tuesday to have an attorney assigned.

The Harris County Medical Examiner’s Office completed an autopsy on Sunday, but the cause of death was still pending. The results may be known as early as Tuesday. [Source]

First thing in the morning, I’m off to Clearwater. Florida to visit my bestest friend Lo’Nique and my godson Malachi. I hope you all have a safe and fun filled weekend!

I saw this a while ago, but I felt the need to post it because it’s so freakin’ funny!


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