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Friends (a work in progress)

Posted on: June 9, 2008

People are funny. And “friends” are even funnier. The term “friend” applies to so many. People in our lives who are there for us whenever we need them, who are there for us whenever it’s convenient to them, and those who we speak to with some familiarity — they are all considered to be “friends” in some form or fashion. However it’s the level of “friend” that matters the most. Best, fair-weather, former, acquaintances, and new-found friend, we all have them.

Things have been real interesting for me on the “friend” front in recent weeks. My friend Sasha who I’ve know since 1985 left the country at the end of May to start her two-year assignment in Paraguay with the Peace Corps. I never realized how much I would miss her. I mean, it’s not like I’m breakin’ down in tears because she’s gone…it’s just the little things like sending her a text message when something reminds me of her that I took for granted when she was here in the States. I’m glad that she came down to Atlanta so that we could spend a couple of days together before she left. It really made a difference and I think it made the two us closer. I can honestly say that it’s true that you don’t realize how much you miss someone ‘til they’re gone.

——————————————————————————————

I’ve reconnected with a couple of ladies that I was extremely close to in college, but for various reasons our friendship had to end. There were a lot of reasons that Suga and I stopped being friends — she treated me like a back-up friend. She would only hang out with me when her other friends weren’t available (and she told me this), she only called when she needed me for something (and others weren’t available), and she thought that (because my problems were different from hers) I had no issues. Not true at all, in fact, at that point my mother was sick and wasn’t telling me all that was going on until she started arguing with me about something. It was that she did anything to me persay, I just got tired (that seems to be a common thing for me). However, given that I haven’t seen her in about 2 years and hadn’t hung out with her in about 5 years…it was crazy to see her a week ago and have things click like there hasn’t been any time lapse at all.

Ti on the other hand was a totally different story. She sent me an email seeing how I was doing because she thought she saw out and about last week. There were two reasons why Ti and I stopped being friends. First, she was somewhat of a hypocrite. She would complain about people doing or not doing something (i.e. being around for her birthday or not coming to visit her out in East Boonieville, GA) but then do the same thing that she would complain about. WTF? I would be offended because I’d go out somewhere (around the corner from my house) and she would be there. Umm, you could’ve called to say, ‘hey, I’m going to be in your neighborhood, you should come meet me.’ That never happened…though she would call me when she was driving on 285 on her way home or would call for directions to somewhere near my house, but would never come to visit me. Second, Ti had no respect for other people’s time. And that PISSED.ME.OFF! I shouldn’t have to tell you to be somewhere an hour or two before the actual time you should be there, just so you show up on time. And then when you are still late, you act like it’s no big deal. Are you serious? Like obviously you don’t have any respect for me because you’re just going to do your own shit. Other friends would just give her a pass because ‘that’s just Ti, you know how she is…’ Yes, I did know that’s how she was, but I get fed up with her nonchalant attitude when someone (or I) would say something to her about it. So because of the lack of disrespect, I had to cut her off. This isn’t to say that I’m not glad that she contacted me. I have missed her over the years…

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3 Responses to "Friends (a work in progress)"

Everyone has had friends like that. People with no respect for time, the hypocrites.
Usually my friendships, over the yrs, have ended because I have moved so much. But I have realized that I have cut quite a few people out of my life because they’ve just made me “tired”. But that doesnt de-value the good times I had with that person—thats why it can be so hard sometimes. What really sucks is when you re-connect with that person—and they do the same frustrating shit!!

Friend is such an over-used term! You get looked @ with a 3rd eye if you call people “Associates,” (c) Greg, Real World. But really, most people boil down to being associates. And that’s not so much a bad thing. It’s not bad to have people that you hang with every blue moon to spice life up. Friends in the true sense of the word are rarities…and blessings!

Hmmmm, I ‘ve been through a period when i didnt have much friends and vice versa. I will say that I cherish my friends…there are some that come with the seasons and some who are a lifetime. Life is crazy sometimes and firends can be just like life, crazy. You live and you learn -its my experience that friends can be a beautiful thing. The process of elimination is the hard thing….

-Rae

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